1.  If you’re Asian, but really american, is visiting your country of origin difficult? I know as a caucasian when I visit other cultures people tend to laugh when I operate outside of normal customs.  But if you look like you belong there, would you get in trouble?  For instance, I’m certian if we had a Chinese exchange student visiting our american home and he burped obnoxiously at our dinner table everyone would laugh assuming he didn’t realize that burping was rude.  But, if he was Chinese and caucasian I bet… nevermind.  I’d still laugh.

2.  How much time have I spent in my lifetime listening to couches that my cell phone is NOT inside.

3.  Who choose breakfast foods?

4.  Why are people more willing to make a complete fools of themselves than to let their suitcase go around the carousel one more time.  The other day I watched a guy show 50 other people how embarrassingly weak he is as he struggled to pull off his large bag while standing at a 60 degree angle.  Also, he knocked over 3 people.  Also, he didn’t get his bag.

5.  How long did it take penguins to get to the ark?

Best Cult Classic

My sister and I seriously watched this movie over six times when we were younger.  Great music.  Great cameos.  Great bad acting.

Best Exercise Video

Worst Investment

10SecondsOfZany.com – Seemed like a fun idea.

meanest prank

Yeah.  Sure.  I guess that scared the guy.  I have an idea for your next prank.  Set the whole place on fire, and then right before he burns open a trap door.  He’ll almost die, but he won’t.  Hilarious.

seriously scary prank

I’m serious.  If this ever happens to me, I will crap.  Which is okay I guess.

most embarassing costumes

I hope these were the results of a lost bet.

of San Fransisco, CA.

AKA @AMassam - follow him!

I honestly  have no idea who he is, but I thought it would be fun for all of us to start following some random new person each week on Twitter.  Here’s what I do know from his profile:  Tea and specialty food and drink snob, cost reduction and process change guru for food/beverage co’s., canine lover, and fitness fiend

Photo of the Week

Burly man in Texas airport wearing socks and sandals.  Oh, and he’s knitting.

submitted by Paul Ryden, the one and only.

Tweetie 2

($1.99) great new iPhone App for tweeters

- create address book entries from twitter profiles
- video support (if you have a 3Gs)
- see who’s tweeting near you (based on current location)
- tweetbox – makes creating a new tweet very fast
- I’m not getting paid for this.  It really is a sweet app.

Dude Perfect

They have been all over National TV and Youtube, and they were at Catalyst 09.  Here’s their special Catalyst shot.  (If you don’t know what they are famous for, go here first)

A few lessons to be learned from the show:

1.  If you are ever jumping on a trampoline and someone is filming you… get off immediately!

2. Teaching your kid to play t-ball is not only cheaper than a vasectomy.  It’s way cuter.

3. If your butt is bigger than than your child, don’t sit on swings.  Or walk on piers.

4. An ability to build a sweet ramp is not an early sign of intellegence or athleticism.

5. Houses under $50,000 are great for hiding and scaring people.

What am I leaving out?

Dudes, stop:

- calling each other “broseph”

- paying greedy Hollywood producers to close their eyes and make movies with lots of explosions.

- subtly putting shirtless photos of yourself into facebook

- getting upset when that psychotic girl (that YOU chose to make out with) keeps calling you and crying about how much she misses you.

- using racing stripes, ground effects, sub woofers, lifts, or tale pipes to impress women.  (or for any reason at all)

- confusing “fun” with “easy” when choosing a woman

- wearing sunglasses indoors

- bragging about recipes

Please stop:

- calling each other “chica”

- providing ratings to terrible tv programming

- saying “i need to loose weight” in front of other women who are clearly fatter.

- blaming the entire male race for the way you’ve been treated by a few jerks (who YOU chose to date)

- reading voyeuristic magazines

- playing professional basketball

- confusing confidence with arrogance when choosing men

- bragging about your farts

Thanks!

Comedy – What’s the difference between being a funny person, and being a comedian?  Should I put more of myself into what I think is funny, or what they think is funny.  If you are even the slightest bit interested in the art of comedy, listen to this Jerry Seinfeld interview sometime.

Love - In the long run, what makes more of a difference?  A meaningful but shallow impact on the masses, or a laborious but deep impact on a few.  Seems like for some leaders it’s a trade off. (whoa, I’m going to have to revisit this topic)

Project Management – projects, projects, projects.  I thank God for more projects.  Now, how do I make sure they all get done?  On time.  Efficiently.

10SecondsofZany.com – I wish I could say more.  You’ll know soon enough.

If you’ve bought into “email” and you have more than 3 friends, then you’ve recieved an evite.  But, do you know how to properly respond?  Here are some evite response tips:

1. Not leaving a response is the same as “maybe” – Nothing says “who give’s a crap about this guy” like viewing an evite without replying.

2. “Maybe” is the same as “no” – I’m willing to bet my wisdom teeth that less than 1% of “maybes” ever show up.

3. Don’t add guests if your replay is “no” – I shouldn’t have to tell you this.

4.  Adding more than 2 guests is not acceptable. There’s probably a reason your friends weren’t invited.

5.  Please use the carpool section - so I can make fun of you later.

6.  Don’t be the first to reply – It’s the same as publicly referring to someone as your “best friend”

7.  Your reply is not the time for movie quotes – I don’t know how to explain this further.

I’m sure there are more tips out there.  What am I leaving out?

a pinch of my mood
a dash of my age
a teaspoon of location
4 cups of who I’m watching with
9 gallons of originality
3 tablespoons of satire
some secret ingredient of brilliance that I don’t understand yet

Here are a few of the characters recipes that have succeeded. (in no particular order)

Borat in Borat

Clark Griswold in all National Lampoon Vacation movies

Barry in High Fidelity

Lloyd Christmas in Dumb and Dumber

Buck Laughlin in Best in Show

Donkey in Shrek

Ron Burgundy in Anchorman