Can single guys and girls be friends?

What's wrong with the smell of printer ink? I say as long as you're not actually sweating printer ink, we're cool.

I'm so glad you came to the conclusion you did on this issue. I've been thinking about the same thing a lot lately. The part about friendships being seasonal is true, and something I need to come to terms with… Yay for you blogging!

I'll be your friend. As long as it is seasonal and provided that you will be friends with strangers who read your blog.

printer ink? that's one i haven't heard before …. at least you don't smell like stale ritz crackers or warm fritos, so count your blessings. (some of my guy friends in seminary have that problem)
good thoughts! and thanks for restoring my faith in humanity by blogging again.

omg. it all makes sense. I didn't play competitive sports growing up (because I don't count the one year of soccer at 5yo or the one year of softball at 10yo). great point. I don't have many guy friends. I do look at it like a win / lose situation. in the win/lose angle, i say the answer is "no" guys and girls can't be friends because everyone wants to find someone, regardless if you're looking. but with your approach, I guess you can… huh. interesting.
competitive sports. now it's like all my problem are solved. if I take them up at 27, how long do you think it will take to change me?

I agree & disagree b/c of course guys & girls can be friends BUT what is the level of their friendship? For example, I have guy friends but I don't hang out with them one on one nor do I call or text them regularly like I do my girlfriends. We hang out in groups. I think that is totally beneficial. However, when you have a close friendship where you spend time alone & talk on the phone/text regularly, someone is gonna get hurt. Someone is gonna fall for the other & the feelings won't be mutual. I've seen a zillion times & it's usually the girl falling for the guy. Then it ends in hurt feelings & it doesn't end amicably. So I think there has to be some boundaries when guys & girls are friends.

i love that everyone who has commented thus far is female.

I think you're right about having boundaries for the level of friendship, and thats part of the maturing process of learning how to have opposite sex relationships. The closer you get (your're right) the higher the risk of one person "falling for the other." I just wonder if avoiding that situation is really the healthiest goal. Maybe we've demonized disappointment. Is it possible that hurt feelings are a great catalyst for our personal growth?

Jerry and Elaine were best friends even AFTER they dated and broke up. So, it must be possible.

Wait – you can have fun AND lose? Coach never told me that – I'll have to ask him about it at family dinner on Sunday.
He'll probably just tell me to man up and stop talking. Like he always says: "Son, emotions are for girls, unless you're winning, and even then no crying".
Anyways, what?

It can happen, and can be fabulous… my best friend (going on 12+ years now) is a guy.

Above the door of my elementary school gym, there was a big banner that said, "If you had fun, you won." I believe that.

I agree and think that they can be friends. I do however feel that if one says they are best friends that's when it's destined to turn out bad or into a marriage.

Some things that I have noticed is that you definitely need to set boundaries. Not like together, because that is weird, but for yourself. No one says to someone they just met, "Hey My name is Angel and my intentions with you are to just be friends because I am not looking to date" unless you do…then that's fine, but chances are they might not be your friend after that, and if you do, then did it work? its just socially awkward, so point being don't do that…or do what you want.

There will be times when you guys might talk about relationships and dating, but if that happens, don't look at the other one as the potential in that case.

It happens a lot as women we tend to think immediately in our minds about the future of that man. which can make things awkward. That's why a lot of "just friends" situations are hard when they are talking to you all the time or wanting to hang out.

Also, if you don't pick apart the actions of the other person then the friendship is easier. The more you hang out with someone, especially one on one, the more someone is bound to have more feelings than the other.

Just a little bit of what i've noticed.

I would love to find someone who actually sweats printer ink. That stuff is expensive!

Great thoughts from all. Along the same line as boundaries, i think the successfulness of a guy/girl friendship can have a lot to do with expectations. girls DO tend to unintentionally jump to what their future could be with a guy, and while we think that's practical and self-protective, i think it puts unfair expectations on both parties from the start. The idea that we should not pursue a friendly opposite-sex relationship on the off-chance that we could be hurt OR that we just don't see it turning into marriage can and more than likely will rob us of growth and just some really fun times…or if we pursue one just because we think it could turn into something more, then we're the ones setting ourselves up for heartbreak. Speaking as a 29-year-old single lady who's been there/done that, i say just go for it. Focus on knowing and being content with yourself, learning more about your maker, and just loving people…everything else will fall into place.

Ladies, a few scenarios to ponder…if you're both truly at the friend level, there's nothing like having a great guy friend–someone to help put together that furniture you bought, to keep you safe when you decide to go walking at 10 PM, to see "guy" movies with, or to just make you laugh really really hard

if the guy ends up falling for you and you're not on the same page, just be honest and don't lead him on-if you were just being you, you don't have anything to feel bad about, and you can more than likely salvage the friendship. conversely, if you fall for the guy but he's not feelin it, that only means the situation wasn't right for that type of a relationship, not that you're any less of a person, so you just chock it up to experience and try not to be weird

then there could be the one that turns into something amazingly beyond "just friends" that you never could've imagined–it can only be explained as divine. if you were so scared of being "just friends" when you first met that you didn't give it a go, you would've missed out!!

Saw this same post from you on eHarmony! Nice job.

so then I should stop planning our potential wedding then?

Men and women function so differently…I often feel like Jesus couldn’t make up his mind with me so He gave mental attributes of both- so let me throw this out there…unlike males a lot of single females tend to treat a guy like a balance sheet…putting together a list of their likes, dislikes, compatibility levels etc… all within the first 5 minutes of meeting him. This I learned very quickly from a lifetime of being around boy crazy girls…but my question is why? Ultimately if a single guy and single girl can walk into a friendship saying I’m in this without any expectation or agenda I just like to be around you …I think go for it..be friends make merriment. But if you are that girl or guy that is constantly on a mission to find the next til death do us part then be cautious…know what you can and cant handle. I say it’s a case by case scenario…

Who is Rebecca?

This is a great post—I think like you said, it's important to remember and its OK if friendships are just for a season.

p.s. I agree. Rebecca does have a fat veiny face.

Not a real person, mom.

I agree, except I would say 4 minutes

We're a match?

I like this. Maybe honest communication is the secret ingredient. That and not translating "I don't like you more than a friend" as "No one will ever like you as more than a friend."

Rob, you are my best friend.

The banner above the door at my elementary school said, "your parents aren't being honest when you ask them how good you are at sports"

a great friendship is a risk always worth taking. it's rare.

just one question: how long does seasonal last? i may need to know this answer being your friend….

Hello I was digging for viable knowledge on ink for wide format printers. Your blog was listed on Bing in this category, you have an informative site.

If your boyfriend says he is going out with a so called friend girl and he is making plans and then he says that im always invited. What does that mean ?

…. this “seasonal” thing makes me want to gag. Relationships are simply a choice that people make each day about what they value the most. It is okay that priorities change and doesn’t necessarily mean that old ones are removed, but just that they are not as important anymore. When a heart connection is made in the purest sense of relating the two people involved know it, and it doesn’t matter what sex they are. Sometimes it is just best to cherish the imprint and forget the reason.

Forgive me. I'm not sure I understand what you are saying here.

I don't either.

Nothing closer to a kick in the gut than suddenly realizing someone you thought you were “just friends” with a) really wants to be more or b) is really much more special to you than you’d previously realized.
This realization tends to come when one of you sees the other with a new person, or worse, a new engagement ring.

Yes, It’s hard. But was the friendship worth it?

OK so sometimes one of the
two may decide that friendship is no longer an option. Your post addresses a very
important issues (i.e. feelings or lack there of) that could potentially be the
reason for the friendships demise if indeed the guy and gal cannot be friends.
But what if the reason was simply a miscommunication in the worst way? The loss
of a special person from life can hurt a great deal- be the relationship simply
friendship or otherwise undefined. Healing comes through understanding, and sadly
many times things can end without ever a clear understanding why, or conversely,
end for inaccurate misunderstandings all together. So your post leaves me to
contemplate the question of when- if ever- is it the right time to let a
special person (or anything for that matter) become a part of your past without
explanation? In what case if any is it ever wise for one to walk away from
something or something without a true understanding of what happened? After
all- unmatched feelings isn’t the only reason relationships go awry. Could it
be possible that the ending may all be for not if ending in fact was the route
chosen? Or is it really always about those uneven feelings as your blog
suggested?

And here is another thing- some
people read your blog because they think too much about everything in the world-
all the time, and your utter silliness provides an escape for them from those
all consuming, never-ending thoughts about everything and nothing. But then you
write something thought-provoking such as the aforementioned entry and the
reader once again becomes a prisoner their own thoughts. Should the reader
continue to read your blog or just simply move on to another blog equally as
funny but lacking any depth? (insert Tyler
joke here) Are you Tripp feeling confused right now while reading this? Wondering
what your reader is perhaps trying to say? It does truly suck not to understand
the why of things… especially when you’re a thinker type. Can’t seem to pull it
all together? Thus maybe something for you to think about, and yes, people
still do use the word thus.  

*Disclaimer* the lapse in
response time from your original posting to this one does not necessarily represent
the consistent thinking of ones reply, but only the unconventional way a persons
mind can work when gifted with the ability of blocking out large chucks of
time. There you go…rather you realize it yet or not, I just answered one of
your questions for free

You should write a blog post about the end of friendships. What if one friend thinks their season is over, and the other doesn’t? Is there a graceful way to end a friendship?

Thats a great idea.