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Shampoo. A poem.

05/10/2010

Greatest Hits, poetry

You’re the only one
Daily that I need
You’re the only one
Daily I long to squeeze

Without you my poor head
Becomes extremely waxy
I look like a different person
One who drives a taxi

Or if, even worse
I go two or more days without
My head looks freshly birthed
like I literally just slid out

Apricot Jasmine Mint
You leave the shiniest sheen
But what the @#$% do those things
Have to do with getting clean?

Now, compared to most women
I have very little hair
Still I fill my whole hand with you
It can’t hurt, and I don’t care

I like the way you feel
Slippery and Slimy.
Especially when your residue
Runs right down through my hiney

Twenty minutes later
After zoning into hot air
I can’t seem to remember
If I already washed my hair

Oh well, it doesn’t matter
As long as I still have heat
It clearly states on the bottle
is okay to rinse, lather, and repeat

And, my hair isn’t all
You are making cleaner
The longer that I lather
the cleaner I get each finger

Wait. Something doesn’t feel right
This I can’t believe
I somehow used the wrong bottle
What the heck is Summer’s Eve?

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  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/belovedtattoo samantha

    really funny, and more than mildly disturbing. i'd love to see what you come up with about toothpaste. or dish soap.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/cadenceturpin cadenceturpin

    classic.

  • interestedparty29

    I thought you said it wouldn't make me cry.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/girlJaye girlJaye

    wow. this is… aahahhhhhh… i'm really hoping that the "summer's eve" reference was just something you needed in order to rhyme, and not derived from a real life experience. i uh… wow. yeah. i guess i liked it because i came back to read it again.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/830eyes Katie

    I was waiting for someone else to say it, but "Apricot Jasmine Mint" really?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/trippcrosby trippcrosby

    Something like that. I'm still holding out for lemon flower movie theater popcorn shampoo.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/trippcrosby trippcrosby

    oh! great ideas.

  • nate

    hey tripp, this was funny and i liked it.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/trippcrosby trippcrosby

    wow. thank you! I'm so glad someone appreciated that line.

  • Phoebe

    This is so goood! Loved it!

  • http://www.onwardhoe.com Beth

    I think we need to work on tightening up your glutes if your shampoo suds are running through your hiney. Nonetheless, this is my favorite poem today. Like Jamie, I too thoroughly enjoyed the "just slid out" bit almost too much to continue. Almost.

  • Ashley

    i love this poem! I also agree with Beth about the “just slid out” line. I actually paused and reread that stanza. Too funny. Would love to see more!!

  • http://www.trippcrosby.com Tripp Crosby

    Thanks. I’m working on some for sure.