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Boy Scouts

03/25/2010

Seriously

Today I was going to begin a new series of posts that addressed some potentially controversial issues. But, the more I wrote, the more I realized I had to say. I’m going to need more time. Here are some unrelated thoughts while you wait.

I wasted years of my life as a Boy Scout. I’m not knocking the program. I’m just saying it was a waste of time for me.

I did learn things – like how to paddle a canoe. But, I’m pretty sure the woman with the stickers at Wal Mart could paddle a canoe with no training.

I also learned how to build a fire with no matches. That merit badge was called “lighter flicking”

Too bad they didn’t teach us how to properly ignite gas logs now that I’m on my 4th set of eyebrows.

I’ll be honest the only merit badge I truly earned as a 13 year old was one that didn’t exist. And if it did it would be a picture of lotion. Now there’s a skill that remained useful for a few years.

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  • http://www.hudson-photography.com John

    i suppose i'd read anything tagged with "lotion". But your first sentence doesn't make sense, to me at least.

  • kyle w

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! that's too funny.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/wvpv wvpv

    Dude. Your troop must have been lame.

    We learned:
    - how to play "stretch" with sharp knives
    - how kill squirrels with pine cones
    - how get struck by lightning and survive
    - how to enforce "dying cockroaches" for lost and found items. (my kids know what this is now)
    - how to tie things (e.g. people) up with all kinds of fancy knots
    - how to catch scorpions with out getting stung
    - how easy it is to catch your shoes on fire while you're trying to dry them out
    - how to play "whistle or lose it" — which, BTW, included flipping around a butterfly knife (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balisong_%28knife%29…
    - the words to Wasted Rock Ranger by Great White (warning, foul language)
    - how to play strip chess

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/dustyken dustyken

    ROTFLMAO!

  • http://www.travisfish.com Travis Fish

    Haha thats funny. I totally agree. I wasted so many years in boy scouts learning things that would be useful if I actually enjoyed sleeping outside in my own sweat.