The Friday 1: Our home intruder

It’s hard to top this moment.

I fell asleep on Jess’s couch last night during our Prison Break marathon. About 4:30am I was awakened by the sound of a guy moaning and a hand sliding down the glass part of the front door. This was especially confusing, because at the time I was dreaming about being on the Titanic with Leonardo DeCaprio.

By the time our “guest” started punching the doorknob repeatedly in a boxer stance I was fully awake.  He went from boxing to stumbling around the porch to yelling for someone to let him in. Once I realized this guy wasn’t anyone I knew, I immediately went into Schofield mode and schemed up a plan for getting him to leave without waking the girls who were still asleep in their rooms.

My plan: Hold the (locked) door shut with my hand and yell at the guy to leave. Stealthy and Brilliant.  The silly irrational girls, now awake, called 911.

(If you are at all impressed that I was able to get footage, go buy an iphone 3Gs)

After 15 minutes of yelling at him and two 911 calls, the cops finally arrived. The drunk visitor swore he knew us, and he tried to prove it by reciting our names, “Billy and Tom.”  I can see how he got Billy out of Jessica, but Tom sounds nothing like Tripp, Tiffany, or Penny.

Oh, and here’s some advice: If you want to cops to get there sooner, give them the correct street address. Now I feel bad for yelling at the 911 dispatch lady.