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Nostalgia Week: Mario

06/11/2009

nostalgia

Here are some things about Super Mario Bros. (the original)  that I wish were true in real life.

Instead of dying, you become half your size. Or maybe if you screw up in life, you get sent back to half your age so you can try it all over again.   Instead of real life consequences there are just second chances.   Unless of course you fall off a cliff.  Then you just die.

Once you move forward, there’s no going back. This is true with time, but not space.  What if we could only ever be in the same spot once?  You leave a room, and that’s it.  You can only go somewhere new.  Never mind. I hate this idea.new-super-mario-bros-20060313032401638_640w

Pipes as major modes of transportation. But in the real world we can label them.  This way you don’t have to be seen squatting over a sewers that don’t do anything.

Mo’ Money Mo’ Life - No more work.  All money is just lying around for you to find.  Sometimes it’s even hidden in brick walls.  And the best thing is that if you find enough of it you get yet another attempt at life.

Bouncing Fireballs. Nothing practical here.  I’m just saying it would be awesome.

There are a million other things, but I want to hear your ideas.

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  • Lisa

    I want a star that makes me invincible

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/vee_tran Vy Tran

    I think Duck Hunt should be available as an alternate reality at any given time we choose.

    And we'd be the ducks.

  • http://taftastic.wordpress.com Lee

    How about this life truth: mushrooms are evil, and sliding a turtle at them is the best way to get rid of them.

  • http://iwantahamsandwich.blogspot.com/ Amy Hammond

    What about swimming under water and never running out of air? This would be one of my favorites. Then maybe we could finally figure out if mermaids really do exist.

    What about PaperBoy? Another classic.

  • http://iwantahamsandwich.blogspot.com/ Amy Hammond

    What about swimming under water and never running out of air? This would be one of my favorites. Then maybe we could finally figure out if mermaids really do exist.

    What about PaperBoy? Another classic.

  • Josh L.

    The thought of gangs of angry mushrooms terrorizing the streets both amuses and terrifies me.

  • http://www.getapprovedshortsale.com JPursell

    To hold down a button and instantly change your 40 time from 5.0 to 4.2. To have our mortal enemy be as dumb as the dragon at the end of the game. To be able to jump in a sewer pipe when things get bad, and reappear in great new land.

  • abby parker

    I think I would personally be a fan of finding duck-turtles, jumping on them, and then throwing them within their shells at things.

    Not to mention, starpower. With starpower, you can do just about anything without consequence. Well, I guess that is true after all…

  • nate

    i would like to have the option of an invisibility star for the tougher times of life. i would also like warp zones. who among us wouldn't have warped through middle school and straight to high school if given the option? am i right?

  • JamesD

    Thanks for the useful info. It’s so interesting

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/HaleyElise HaleyElise

    On a side note, did you know that if you have two controllers plugged in, one person can control the ducks, while the other person shoots them?

    Oh yes. True Story.

  • Ben

    Mario always had emotional stability. Whenever he fell into lava I screamed and cussed, but he went right back at it for another attempt. Maybe my mom wouldn't have taken my NES away from me for throwing the TV if I could behave like Mario.

  • http://bryanallain.com/blog bryan a

    I'd like to be able to hold my breath underwater for 5 minutes.
    I'd like to be able to punch brick walls and have vines grow out of them.
    I'd like to have scary music play when i walk into a place where something bad is going to happen so I'm prepared for a fight.

  • jaypea

    i'd love to have a pet turtle that threw ninja stars…

    and be able to swim underwater for hours with no oxygen…

    and be able to travel great distances by leaping from tree to tree…

    and be able to skip ahead of tough parts of life via the use of warp zones…

  • jaypea

    i'd love to have a pet turtle that threw ninja stars…

    and be able to swim underwater for hours with no oxygen…

    and be able to travel great distances by leaping from tree to tree…

    and be able to skip ahead of tough parts of life via the use of warp zones…

  • http://www.zingersandwich.com David Robertson

    It would be nice if we had theme music playing over us. Although, it would play faster anytime I'm running late, building anxiety and making me way more likely to fall down a cliff.

    I'd also like to know how many points I've accumulated. Points, of course, that have no apparent significance…no matter how many times I touch the top of the flag pole.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/trippcrosby trippcrosby

    Yes, I almost forgot. I love how insignificant points are.

  • http://loveinthefire.wordpress.com/ michael

    PAPERBOY! HOLY CRAP, Atari! I just remembered that one the other day and was so pumped about it! I saw a video on some X360 site that was a video of that game and it brought back so many memories. It was the first game I ever owned! or played, for that matter! YES!!

    The biggest thing I can think of with Mario, is throw that turtle at everything. You gotta always be armed and ready for whatever slides into your screen! :)

  • John L

    AWESOME!

  • Jacob

    Getting an almost infinite number of lives (like you can at the end of level 3-3)

  • http://patrickpizzaparty.blogspot.com Patrick

    Having a twin brother that will help you out if you screw up, but I still get the princess all to myself.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/trippcrosby trippcrosby

    I'm telling you. This is the greatest news I've heard all week.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/vee_tran Vy Tran

    I think it's about time I steal that NES from my uncle's house.

  • http://blog.harvestbiblefellowship.org/?p=2582 Links of The Week… « Straight Up

    [...] if Mario Bros. Was Like Real [...]

  • the actress

    I can't believe no one has mentioned that it'd be really cool to (1) be able to shoot fireballs to get rid of enemies.

    and

    2) have your enemies always (well, mostly) clearly marked.

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