Here are some simple instructions for men who want to show affection to other men.
HUGGING
1. Go for the mid-height hi-five with your right hand, but lean in a little with your shoulder so he knows what is coming.
2. Don’t let go, and pull. (Your right hands now serve as a buffer eliminating the possibility of a full-torso touch.)
3. With your left hand, reach around behind his back and tap 3 times. This is code for “I’m not gay”
BONUS MOVE: Lean way back during the final release of your initial hi-five, and pull as hard as you can with just your fingers. A snapping sound will occur. Sweet!
KIND WORDS
This one is easy. Just speak from your heart, and then add the word “man” or “dude”.
I.E.: “I love you man!” or “dude this has been fun” or “I appreciate your advice man”
SPANKING
This is a very delicate move, and it must occur with absolute precision.
1. First of all, the male-to-male spank can ONLY take place when both parties are dressed for AND participating in a team sport . Never attempt when bowling, golfing, fishing, or repairing an engine.
2. ALWAYS spank in public.
3. DO NOT make eye-contact. In fact, it’s better if something else already has your attention before your hand even makes contact.
4. ONLY spank in a moment of praise. NEVER spank as a means of discipline.
5. ONLY SPANK ONCE!! I cannot overemphasize this.
OKAY: “Nice Block Jim!” [spank] “Let’s go Steve!”
NEVER OKAY: “You can’t do that Mike. That’s cheating!” [spank] “Cheating is naughty!” [spank]
HOLDING HANDS
This is only okay when praying in a group, playing Red-Rover, or when saving your friend from falling off of a cliff.
TICKLING
This is never okay.
NOTE: I do apologize if you’ve read this before. I reposted for some expected new visitors today, and I wanted to make a good impression. Thanks for understanding.
Tags: french kissing, holding hands, hugging, kind words, kissing, male affection, red rover, spanking, sports, sports-pat
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I just saw this. Classic post. Many LOL’s were had.
A glimpse into the male mind… I feel like I should be taking notes.
It’s not gay unless you make eye contact.
French Kissing was OK in “Baseketball”
the reason you pat on the back three times is because it is man language for “I’m not gay.”
I laughed pretty hard when I read Spanking #5 and imagined a football player chasing his teammate around the field trying to give him a spank for every point he just scored.
Will someone tell this to Chris Tomlin. Every time I see him in concert he makes everyone hold hands so we can dance in the imaginary river. I always end up next to some dude I don’t know. His song lasts for forever and it becomes awkward.
hahahaha…”cheating is naughty”.
well done sir. (insert manbrace-to-snap)
woops
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a2505951bc80ed4011be6dd082e0138
you forgot the “Power Embrace”
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is it ever ok to perform more than one “maneffection” at a time? i.e. holding their hand while spanking? i.e. if they make a good stop in red rover as your partner and you give them a little “good job” spank?
thank you for clarifying. I was wondering why my buddy Joe has been avoiding me lately.